The Difficulty of Illness in the Home

INTRODUCTION: The serpent offered Eve the fruit, saying, “You will not die.” By saying this, he not only denied the reality of death (when she would indeed die) but also hid what that death would look like. Death is not only seen at the moment of passing from this life to eternity. It is seen throughout life as our bodies deteriorate. We have all experienced sickness. What is happening? You could say that we are slowly dying. And beyond the pain and discomfort of sickness, there is another reality that the serpent did not share with Eve: that sickness can create conflict in the home.

Illness disrupts the plans not only of the person suffering from the illness but also of his caregivers, both short-term and long-term. It entails unexpected expenses. Sometimes these costs are unbearable and result in heavy debt.

The caregiver endures sleepless nights and has to continue working during the day. Some illnesses are obvious. In these cases, people outside the home are aware of the situation. A wheelchair, for example, is a constant reminder that something is wrong. But when someone is unwell but shows no obvious symptoms to others, people forget or never notice and, therefore, can end up causing even more harm with their words or their silence. If we add to the illness the possibility of accidents or mishaps, the situation leads to further complications. If someone is at fault for causing the accident, the injured person may be tempted to harbor resentment toward another.

These conditions can provoke the person suffering from the illness to react negatively. The person suffering from the illness may even lash out at those who are actually there to help. This can cause the caregiver to respond with anger, fear, and discouragement as both suffer under an unexpected and unwanted burden.

Undoubtedly, these moments require help: the extended family, the local church, and even the wider community can participate in alleviating the suffering. But due to time constraints and the nature of the topic itself, I will focus only on the home. More specifically, I will focus on how we think about these situations. And, to be even more specific, I am thinking primarily of those who are the caregivers.

As with any other storm, it will help to have fixed points of reference, to be rooted to solid ground for stability. These fixed, stable points are truths that do not move, even when everything else seems to. God wants the truths of the Bible to keep us firm in times of illness. So let’s allow the realities of God's Word to keep us firm. We will look at six realities.

1. Sickness is not God's final will.

We are so accustomed to correctly repeating that God is sovereign that we can sometimes give (or believe) the idea that God takes pleasure in sickness or, even worse, in sin itself. It is necessary to remember that God is not the author of sin, that sickness is the consequence of sin, that the original creation had neither pain nor sickness, and that in the new creation there will be none of these evils (Genesis 1:31; Revelation 21:1-4).

We are also accustomed to hearing about the “circle of life,” the idea that it is normal for an organism to go through certain processes and to eventually die. But, for the Christian, this is not normal. Sickness and death are interruptions in God’s design.

Therefore, it is right to grieve and let others grieve when sickness strikes.

Sickness is not God’s final will. But, despite this first reality…

2. Sickness is the common condition of humanity.

Our experience is that normal life requires the stronger to care for the weaker. Real life consists of caring for babies, those with conditions like Down syndrome, those with terminal cancer, and the elderly.

It is necessary to recognize this reality because if we don't accept it, when illness strikes one of our family members, or when it strikes us, we might think it's unusual. But it isn't. It's real life.

But even recognizing these realities, illness puts tremendous stress on us. It is necessary to recognize a third reality:

3. Sickness is not the real cause of conflict.

James 4:1-4 explains that conflict stems from our own frustrated desires. The desire may not be bad. In fact, it may be right. Sickness in the home may disrupt short-term plans (postponed vacations, a missed study session) or long-term plans (“I was going to be a pastor,” or “I am a pastor, but challenges at home hinder my ministry”). These are good plans and good desires, but when circumstances rob us of what we wanted, we may react in the ways James describes in this chapter.

The good news: God offers forgiveness (James 4:6-10).

God not only offers forgiveness; He also offers truths, realities that can support us in these moments. Here is another:

4. God saved you in order that you would care for your loved one.

Have you ever stopped to think about why God saved you? Ephesians 2 tells us that He saved us for good works (see especially verse 10).

This implies that He saved you not only to live in His presence for eternity. God saved you to clean up vomit. God saved you to hear the same story for the hundredth time from your loved one who has already forgotten she told it to you. God saved you to wake up again to give the medicine every four hours. God saved you to be there for your loved one, to clean them, to give another massage.

Having this perspective doesn't take away the difficulty of the illness, but it encourages and motivates.

There is another related reality.

5. God will save you through the illness.

God has committed to completing in you, the caregiver, the work He began (Philippians 1:6). What work? How will He do it? Through everything that touches you (Romans 8:28). This promise is for every believer; those who love God are the justified who will be glorified. We began by saying that sickness is not God's final will. But God's sovereignty encompasses everything, even the sin He hates. It also encompasses the effects of the Fall. God will use your loved one's illness to save you. You are already justified, but the process of sanctification continues.

Take heart with one more reality.

6. God can give opportunities and fruit even in the worst circumstances.

Consider Paul in Rome, hindered by house arrest (Acts 28:30–31). Yet the work was unhindered (read the passage).

Finally, think about this.

7. The way you treat your sick loved one is the way you treat Christ Himself.

Read Matthew 25:31–46.

As you give the medicine, wipe, and listen to that story again, it's worth thinking, "I am serving Christ Himself directly."

CONCLUSION: Christ has solved the problem of sin (and, therefore, physical illness)... yes, but not yet. We continue to grapple with sickness, and the front lines of the battle are in the home, where one gets out of bed (or not) and (sometimes) where one dies. Let this part of Christ's kingdom, the home, be a place where we think biblically, rooted in biblical realities. We conclude by recalling the first reality we saw, a glimpse of the end times (Revelation 21:1-4):

“Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, ‘The dwelling place of God is now among the people, and he will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.’”

Original notes in Spanish; translated with Google Translate with minor edits.

On the eve of a new year...

God, since the beginning, has left a witness to himself (Acts 14:17). Year after year he has testified of his existence. He has done so by grace, undeserved favor, goodness shown in common to all creation. He has thus testified not only that he exists but also that he is good. The blessing he gave to all living creatures at the beginning (Ge 1:28-31), promised again after the judgment of the worldwide flood (Ge 8:22), he has continued to pour out in the form of abundance and variety of food. He does good “by giving [us] rains from heaven and fruitful seasons, satisfying [our] hearts with food and gladness” (Acts 14:17). We all—humans, animals, fish, birds, and bugs—depend on him, whether we consciously lift our eyes to him, the Giver, or not. He gives us our food in due season; we gather it up; he opens his hand, and we are filled with good things (Ps 104). We have grown so accustomed to this lavish grace that, when at times he hides his face and we know hunger, we not only are dismayed but also speak evil of him, forgetting that our final destination of dust and fire should be our present state. For we have eaten what he did not give (Ge 2:16-17), seeking satisfaction in what was not real. We should be dead; but here we are, breathing on the eve of another year. He continues to give us bread from the ground, and he continues to freely offer, to all who will come and eat, the True Bread from heaven, of which—of Whom—if anyone eats, he will live forever.

Listen for the Voice of the Shepherd

From time to time I’m asked to teach others how to preach. This unsought privilege comes with unsought dangers! As I hone my own skills and try to help others develop theirs, a healthy tendency to analyze can actually become a critical spirit. Instead of listening for the voice of the Shepherd, I can find myself distracted by the sometimes-flawed voices of under-shepherds. Likewise, a Bible college student can become critical or arrogant as he compares all he’s learned with what other preachers do. And any Christian, really, who has been exposed to good preaching—or maybe even to a preaching style he just personally prefers—can struggle with a critical attitude when he hears preaching that isn’t all he hoped for.

Let’s be honest. Sometimes the preaching we hear disappoints us. I can think of recent examples. In one case, the outline was appropriate and connected to the text, but the preacher so elaborated each point that he strayed from the safe ground of the Bible into the weeds of personal opinion. In another case, the brother opened with a passage that doesn’t actually teach what he used it to say. These are genuine problems! But they’re problems we’ll leave for another venue. What do we do, as hearers, when we find ourselves in these situations?

We have several options. We can daydream. Or we can decide we’ll get more profit from sitting and reading our copy of the Bible. Maybe we resolve to try to learn from a bad example. These choices are better than nurturing a critical spirit. But there really is a better way, and it’s not profound: We can deliberately listen for the voice of God. (I said it was simple!)

I tried this the last time I heard one of those sermons. I decided I would intentionally listen for the voice of the Shepherd, and I tried to write down what I heard. Do you know what I found? The sermon, which I could easily have dismissed as inferior, was full of God! God, speaking to me. I needed what the preacher was preaching. After all, shouldn’t we expect the one who did not withhold his own Son to freely give us all things? He plans the preaching we hear to be the preaching we need to hear. And, as it occurred to me later, what I had heard in that one, simple, less-than-perfect sermon was more truth than many in this world are graced to hear in their entire lives.

I’ll probably continue to struggle with this. And I’ll also continue to encourage my students as we seek together to improve. But I really do believe that I’ll be greatly helped when I remember to listen for, discern, and respond to the voice of the Shepherd, even when his spokesmen may falter. jms

This article first appeared in Listening to God through the Preaching of His Word, book three of a four-part series on listening, published by the Man of the Word program for Mount Calvary Baptist Church (Greenville, SC). 

Who is Jesus?

Who is Jesus? What is his relationship to God? These questions aren’t simply debates that divide one Christian from another. They’re part of what defines a Christian. Because if salvation is found only in Jesus, then whether or not we’re believing in the right Jesus is no mere doctrinal discussion. Nevertheless, before examining what Jesus said about himself, or what his apostles said about him in the New Testament, it’s important to understand the context into which Jesus was born.

The cultural, religious context into which Jesus came was absolute monotheism. That is, there is only one God in the entire universe. This doesn’t simply mean the Jews worshiped only one God (allowing that there might be another one somewhere). It also means their Scriptures (the Christian OT) insist that no other God exists. God’s name is YHWH (in English traditionally rendered as “the LORD” or “Jehovah”). There was no time when God wasn’t. Any “gods” that came into being aren’t gods in the sense that Jehovah is God. He is the only one in his category in the entire universe.

Jesus referred to the only God as “my Father” and to himself as “the Son of God.” The monotheistic Jews understood this to be a claim of equality with God. But did they understand Jesus or did they simply accuse him of saying something he didn’t intend? For that matter, do biblical Christians understand what Jesus and the Bible claim for him or do they simply hold to a tradition handed down to them? For approximately 18 months I wrestled with a similar question: Do the many passages in the Scriptures used to prove Jesus’ deity really teach that?

Convinced from childhood of the reliability of the Bible, and thus a monotheist, I also believed what I’d been taught about Jesus’ full deity. But, for a time, when I looked at specific Bible passages used to establish his deity, I wondered whether I really understood them or whether they meant something else. The same excruciating doubt kept arising with every proof text I looked at. At the same time, I (rightly) reasoned, if faith in Christ is the only way to eternal safety, it’s essential to know in whom I’m believing. Had I believed in the biblical Jesus?

The danger of proof-texting is that we pull verses out of their context to prove what we want to believe or what others tell us is true. Any text—isolated from the logical flow of thought, separated from God’s big story, removed from the rest of what God has revealed in his Word, or contorted against the way language naturally works—can mean anything we make it mean. The answer is to read the whole Bible (not simply isolated verses), to allow whole sections to flow where they will, and to do so with humility and submission to God.

By God’s grace, I concluded that the monotheistic Jews were right: Jesus was indeed claiming equality with God. The New Testament calls Jesus God, identifies Jesus as YHWH (Jehovah), shows Jesus accepting worship and taking the divine prerogative of forgiving sins, and gives him the name Jesus—“Jehovah saves”—because he, Jesus, saves. The Scripture doesn’t let us conclude that the Father and the Son are the same person; it’s not that the one God sometimes shows up as the Father and other times as the Son. Nor can we say that there are multiple Gods or even that the Son merely represents his Father. Rather, the Son, a person separate from the Father, is at the same time equal and coeternal with him. Honoring Jesus begins with honoring God as the only God, eternal, all-knowing, able to do everything he wants to do, and the Creator of everything else that exists. Honoring Jesus means recognizing him to be of full and equal deity with his Father and fleeing to him for forgiveness of sin and eternal rest. There are proof texts to support these affirmations, but it’s better to read the book as a book.

My pastor shared this message last Sunday concerning the nature of Jesus. Please consider listening!

https://www.mountcalvarybaptist.org/pages/sermons/detail/sermon/8413

Ideas for reading the Bible for the first (or hundredth) time

Have you read the Bible? If you’re going to talk about it (or even have an opinion), you probably should . . . read it . . . at least once. Here are a few ideas to help.

Pray that God will help you understand what he wrote.

Read the Bible like a book. It claims to be from God, but God used normal means of communication. Generally speaking, the rules of human language (word meanings, grammar, the ways language “works”) still apply. Different “genres” (poetry, history, etc.) function a little bit differently, just like they do in modern life.

Look for units of thought (not necessarily chapters and verses). In the epistles (which are like letters), for example, these will be paragraphs or larger sections. In the psalms (which are like songs or hymns), these will be parallel lines and lines grouped into stanzas. The extended flow of thought might include evidence, explanation or examples, parenthetical ideas, purposes, or reasons. The big thing is to break out of a “chapter and verse” mentality and follow the flow.

The historical context is important, because it sheds light on the meaning of certain statements.

Think about the big story. Any single passage of Scripture is part of the big story of God’s rescuing humanity in order to establish His kingdom.

The Bible is in two big sections. The first part is the Old Testament (“testament” means “covenant”). The second part is the New Testament. Remember that Jesus fulfills the Old Testament. The OT points to him with direct prophecy, with indirect prophecy (recurring themes, people, and institutions that are like “shadows” of Jesus, who is “the real thing”), and even with humanly impossible laws that he himself kept. The New Covenant doesn’t get rid of the writings of the Old Covenant (as if the old were now unimportant or not applicable). It is, however, “new.” The church relates to God through Jesus Christ and the New Covenant (Matthew 5:17-20; Hebrews 1:1-2).

October 2020 Report

Events since our last report included anniversary and birthday celebrations for our family and a “virtual camp” on “The Bible and Science” (with up to 90 devices connected at one point) with Dr. Bill Lovegrove, Engineering Department Head at Bob Jones University. 

Retrospect. We recently reviewed a document we had labeled “Uruguay 2020,” an informal proposal put together in 2008 following graduation from seminary and a trip to Uruguay to survey opportunities here. The year 2020 was somewhat arbitrary, and our understanding of the Lord’s future leading limited; but it has been encouraging now in these days to review what God has done in the interim. We suggested a general mission of strengthening Uruguayan churches in the roles of evangelist and teacher. Though this mission did not preclude the possibility of church planting or pastoring, it emphasized instead the importance of the national Uruguayan church and proposed a supportive role alongside Uruguayan leadership.

 
Specifically the vision included three elements: We hoped to see a mature local church established in the department of Canelones. (We had surveyed San Jacinto, Tala, and San Ramón.) We wanted to encourage the Garwoods and Iglesia Bíblica Maranatha in Pando (also in the department of Canelones). We hoped to see an active Bible training program serving believers in the local church, national pastors in the ministry, and young people planning for or considering gospel ministry.
 
Later that same year, EMU’s Bible institute (B.I.) expressed desire for increased help. We began teaching in the B.I. in 2013, while the new FEBU Bible-college project was preparing to offer the first semester of classes in early 2014. The Lord has continued to bring students semester by semester to FEBU, while the need for and opportunities in the Bible-institute program have also continued, both in Montevideo and in interior cities of Uruguay. Though the Lord did not lead us to work in northern Canelones, it is encouraging to see new gospel work in Tala, San Jacinto, and San Ramón by FEBU co-workers. And a San Jacinto family continues to participate with us in Iglesia Bíblica Maranatha in Pando.

 
Prospect. In our church in Pando we continue with online services, but many of the people have also been able to stay connected via other means, including getting together in smaller, more informal situations. The weekly men’s meeting via Skype has been encouraging to them; we are currently looking at principles of Bible study and working through the book of James. Please continue to pray for the Lord’s guidance for this church and for His provision of a permanent pastor.
 
The school year in the Southern Hemisphere is coming quickly to an end. On the elementary and middle-school levels, it has been an abbreviated year. Students have largely returned to in-person classes, though in many cases with reduced schedules. We expect our kids will continue in their current schools in 2021: DJ in the Christian school outside Las Piedras (where D also teaches part-time EFL classes) and E in a local public middle school. She has been encouraged recently with a history writing assignment that resulted in a meaningful one-on-one conversation with her teacher and in some of her biblical worldview being read to the class. Please pray for the Lord to use her there, specifically for the salvation of her history teacher and of another friend (one of many Venezuelans now in Uruguay), with whom she has had opportunity.
 
FEBU classes are now being held in person in the classroom location at the Parque Batlle church. The Bible-institute classes in Montevideo will continue online for this final month. We expect to see two students complete the three-year Bible institute program and one finish the four-year FEBU program. Please pray for direction in planning for future classes, especially given the uncertainties of 2021. Several other projects are in the works: JM is working on a manual for tracing argument and on a smaller document to help Sunday school teachers in the use of translations for study and memorization. We’ve been asked to prepare several recorded sessions of Apologetics (JM) and Grammar (D) for a local/international radio ministry.
 
Since 2013 we’ve used a business card that includes our names, email address, brief Scripture verse, and a link to a website with a gospel presentation. During 2020 several have shown interest as a result. Please pray for the Lord to use His Word, through this and other means. Thank you for your continued prayers, financial support, and ongoing friendship!

June 2020 Report

Greetings from Montevideo—and still mainly from home. Our neighborhood is pictured below, with our home in the middle. June 13 marked 3 months of COVID-19 in Uruguay. The newly elected government has exercised strong leadership in encouraging social distancing, but we have never been under either complete or obligatory lockdown. Nevertheless, there will be long-term effects here as everywhere. The escalation to global pandemic began, for the Southern Hemisphere, at the very beginning of the school year, and schooling on all levels moved immediately online. The first phase of reopening schools is scheduled on the elementary level for late June.

In April we wrote an update for the EMU Newsletter. Though not intended to be our April report, we never sent anything further. (We’re now including it on this blog.) Our desire continues to be to steward the changes in schedule. Without being unaware or indifferent to the suffering caused by closures of economies and breakdowns in health systems, we want to take full advantage of the opportunities offered by this time. When the coronavirus reached Uruguay we were finishing our move from the mission office/Bible-institute (B.I.) building to a nearby apartment. We are now a half block north, along one of the city’s surviving cobbled brick streets; and we’ve done most of our teaching and recording of classes at the mission office. In April we added an online hermeneutics course to the B.I. schedule to allow a student graduating later this year to make up a deficiency. Right after launching the course, we were given access to an online platform that we began using immediately and that will be available for future online and in-person classes. We’re grateful for this gift and the potential it represents to improve quality of presentation and to offer content (text, documents, photos, recorded video, and evaluations) easily accessed in one place. In addition to Hermeneutics, our semester’s teaching has included Homiletics, OT Poetic Books, and Grammar & Composition in the B.I. and FEBU. 

Iglesia Bíblica Maranatha. We continue, for the time being, to hold a weekly service via Facebook Live, sharing the responsibility for this with Daniel and Viviana. JM is also teaching Principles of Bible Study in a weekly men’s meeting via Skype. Matías Acevedo heads up the weekly youth meeting, also via Skype. 

Campamento Emanuel has been forced to cancel many weeks of activity, including the winter youth retreat. Nevertheless, plans are being made for an online meeting among the youth groups of churches usually involved. Dr. Bill Lovegrove, though unable to be with us personally, is working with Pedro to put together an abbreviated “virtual camp” program on the theme of the Bible and science. 

Family. In January JM received approval of his prospectus. In May D submitted a survey of findings on collaborative learning as an effective tool for teaching English as Foreign Language. We expect this to be helpful in the Uruguayan context; she’s pursuing possible publication of the paper in Spanish. The kids, in addition to their online studies, continue to enjoy reading, writing, art, and music. (Soccer has suffered over the past months.) In April the Lord protected JM’s parents in SC as a tornado dropped trees on their house, yard, and truck.

Uruguay and COVID-19. Uruguay has long been known for its uniqueness in the region—demographically, culturally, topographically, economically. To a large degree this has been the case during this pandemic as well. The country has so far been spared much of the suffering borne by neighboring countries. This is, we think, both a mercy and a judgment. God has spared life once again; but if this kindness is attributed merely to second causes—a conclusion the secular culture is already prone to—then we should fear. Please consider making use of these thoughts in your prayers for Uruguay.